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animesmolbean · 4 months ago

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Guardian of Light

(Male)

An original chapter!

Hope you enjoy the chapter! ♥️

〰️

Chapter 7: Attack on the Atreides

〰️

(Your Name) woke up slowly with a groan. He looked around the dark room with squinted eyes. It was too dark to really see, but he could see Paul, who now was rolled off of him and sleeping on his side, but he had an arm laid across on top of his hips. The boy smiled at the sleeping boy.

He saw Paul squirming in his sleep all of a sudden, his breathing increasing. He looked like he was having a nightmare. Acting on instinct whenever Paul had a nightmare, he stroked his curly hair and placed soft kisses on the side of his face.

Paul sighed softly and his squirming ceased, his breathing slowed down. He was calm now. (Your Name) smiled softly.

Then, he felt the branding pain he felt earlier that day when he comforted Paul about his vision. He let out a soft groan. He carefully moved Paul's arm off his hips and put in a comfortable position close to his body, careful not to wake him.

He got out of bed to go to the bathroom to check out the pain. As he walked through the dark hallways, he heard someone else walking around. Curious, he followed the footsteps quietly, walking on the balls of his feet.

A whirring sound echoed throughout, and he felt a slight pain in his chest now. He quickened the pace a little. He got there and saw a terrifying sight.

Duke Leto, the man he saw as his father, was on the ground, paralyzed from a hunter-seeker. The servant who was always walking around was dead with a knife rammed into her chest.

He covered his mouth with her hand, suppressing a scream. He pressed his back against the wall. He watched Dr. Yueh come out of the darkness.

‘Was it him? Is he the one that did this?’ He thought to himself.

He slowly backed away, keeping an eye on his surroundings, to make sure there were no other hunter-seekers around. He couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. Was this all a trap from the beginning?

He made it back to Paul's room, and he fell onto his knees. What was going on? Was this an assassination attempt? So many questions ran through his mind. He stood up slowly.

‘What do I do? What do I do?’ He thought to himself.

Then he remembered. He had an idea now. He inhaled and exhaled softly before raising his arm up and flexing his hand out. In that instant, to his surprise, the Keyblade appeared in his hand.

He wondered if what he experienced in the Arrakis desert yesterday was real. If he could summon the Keyblade, it had to be real.

He grabbed the hilt of the Keyblade with both hands and pointed it to a small table. A soft light appeared at the teeth part of the blade, and magically, clothes appeared on the tabletop. He examined them and recognized them as the same unusual clothes he wore when he fought the Heartless.

‘Everyone Keyblade wielder has their own outfit, I guess.’ He thought to herself.

(Your Name) quickly changed out of his sleepwear and slipped on the new outfit. Just as he finished, he could hear loud banging sounds and explosives coming from outside.

The (Hair Color) haired boy looked at the still sleeping Paul. He quietly walked over to him and kissed his forehead.

“I'll be back. I'll protect you from whatever is out there.” He whispered.

Paul didn't respond; he expected that. As he went to leave, he saw the tray where Paul's medicine was. Then he thought back to Dr. Yueh. He swallowed nervously.

‘Was it all planned?’ He thought to himself.

He left Paul's room and jogged through the hallways. The sounds of yelling, explosives and fighting outside filling the air.

Then, suddenly, dark smoke appeared out of nowhere and it quickly disappeared, the Heartless taking its place. (Your Name) summoned his Keyblade and fought off the monsters.

As he ran and avoided different hallways to not get caught by the intruders, he fought off the Heartless, slowly gaining more experience using his weapon.

Eventually, he came full circle and was in a familiar part of the castle now. Then, he heard footsteps. Panicking, he pointed his Keyblade at the person, ready to fight if necessary. Until he saw who it was.

“Whoa, easy there, my boy.”

“Duncan.” The boy whispered. He sighed in relief. “I thought you were an intruder.”

“I thought you were too. I was doing some rounds when I heard the commotion.” Then he looked at the boy more closely. “What's with the outfit? And what's with that sword?” Duncan asked, a confused look on his face.

(Your Name) looked at his clothes and the Keyblade in his hand. “Uhhh… well… to explain that….”

The boy went on to explain everything that happened to Duncan. He's the Haris Aldaw’, his incident on Arrakis, the Bene Gesserit test, the dreams he has been having.

Duncan looked at his in absolute confusion when she finished. “Lord, this is all confusing.” He let out an exasperated groan.

“Tell me about it. And that's not the weirdest thing.”

“What is it?”

“Whenever I talk about dreams and when Paul had a nightmare, I felt a searing pain on my back. Like something was branding me. I may be asking for a lot… but… can you check it?” He slipped his jacket off and turned his back to Duncan.

Duncan pulled his shirt up to show his back. His eyes widened at what he saw. It was a graffiti heart symbol of some sorts on his back.

“What is it?” (Your Name) asked.

“Uhhhh…. how do I explain this? There's a-”

Before he could tell him, footsteps echoed throughout the hallway.

Duncan pulled her shirt down and pulled a weapon. “We have company.” He murmured.

The blue-eyed boy slipped his jacket back on as a soldier with unusual armor came out. It was reminiscent of the Sardukar armor.

Then, the Heartless materialized as the soldier got ready to attack.

“That's the Heartless?” Duncan asked, getting into a fighting stance.

“Yep. Let's clear this place out.”

The two fought off the intruders. Duncan killed the Sardukar, and (Your Name) destroyed the Heartless. As the boy did, he noticed that after he killed them, a pink crystal shaped like a heart would rise up into the air.

‘The Hearts of people overtaken by the darkness.’ He thought to himself, remembering what they were from her dreams.

Once the threat was eliminated, the two ran through the hallways. Duncan mentioned he was going to check on Paul. (Your Name) remembered he was in his room. He also stated that the Duke was attacked by a hunter-seeker and is immobilized, and they should check on Lady Jessica. They ran there, and to their dismay, the rooms were empty, and the beds were in disarray.

“Oh no.” (Your Name) muttered.

The girl swallowed, everything connecting now. “This was all a trap. Everything.” He whispered.

Duncan placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. “We'll find them (Your Name).”

He nodded, and the pair ran outside, and they got their first look at what happened.

It was a warzone out there. Fire and smoke surrounded the area, the smoke so thick it nearly covered the dark sky. The Sardaukar prowled the area, capturing and killing anyone who opposed them. The Harkonnens walked around the grounds, commanding the Sardaukar and killing anyone on the opposing side.

“Oh my God.” (Your Name) whispered.

Duncan looked around, “We need an Ornithopter.”

The pair walked carefully through the warzone, occasionally army crawling on the sand to hide from the enemy.

They find an Ornithopter, being guarded by some of the Harkonnens. Duncan motioned (Your Name) to stay put as he headed towards it.

He took out a few of them and scared them with a threatening yell, “To hell, dogs!” He gets to the Ornithopter but out of nowhere, some Heartless materialized.

At that instant, (Your Name) summoned his Keyblade and fought them as Duncan worked the Ornithopter.

As he fought, he let out a few growls of anger. He was upset. Upset that they were attacked. That this was all a trap. That the Duke was now probably dead. How everyone he knew could be dead. Lady Jessica was gone. But what made him even more mad was that Paul was taken from him.

He breathed in and out after the last Heartless was defeated.

“(Your Name)! Get on!” Duncan yelled.

The boy nodded with a hum and got into the Ornithopter. Duncan started it, and the Ornithopter took off into the air. Duncan used it to shoot at opposing machines and avoid the laser that shot out of one of the ships that nearly sliced them in half.

(Your Name) held on as Duncan flew out of the base and out into the desert.

〰️

They flew over the Arrakis desert, the smoke clearing out the further they got from the disaster. It was silent in the Ornithopter. (Your Name) looked out the window, a frown on his face.

“How could they do this?” She heard Duncan growl in anger. “Someone betrayed us.”

(Your Name) looked at Duncan. “I know who did.” He whispered. Duncan turned to look at the boy. “It was Dr. Yueh. I'm not sure why… but I got a glimpse of his face. He had a troubled expression on. Maybe he had no choice. But… he still did it.” He explained softly.

Duncan sighed heavily, trying not to get more angry than he already was. He gave the boy a nod, before he reverted his focus back on piloting.

The blue-eyed boy crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head back as he thought about everything that had just transpired.

They were betrayed, attacked, and most of them were killed by the Harkonnens and the Sardaukar. Paul and Lady Jessica have been kidnapped, and the man who he saw as his father was now probably dead.

He didn't want to lose Lady Jessica and Paul.

He won't let that happen.

“Duncan. Let me off.”

Duncan looked at the boy. “Let you off? Why?”

“I can find them. Plus, if they escape… they might bump into the Heartless. They'll die if I don't get to them before they do.”

(Your Name) frowned, giving him a sad but determined look. “Please, Duncan.”

Duncan sighed. “All right.”

At his words, (Your Name) unbuckled himself and opened the back of the thropter with a switch.

“You're going to jump out?!”

He looked at Duncan. “Yeah. I'll be fine. If I can jump twenty feet in the air, then I can handle this.”

Duncan was apprehensive, but he trusted him. “Okay.” His look of concern turned into one of determination. “Find Paul.” (Your Name) said, determined,

“I will.”

He jogged across the ramp and jumped off.

(Your Name) felt the air hit his face as he fell. But he wasn't afraid. His determination clouded his thoughts of possibly dying or severely injuring himself.

As he got closer to the ground, he readied himself to land. His body turned forward a bit, and he moved his arms to be in front of him. He forward rolled once he was close to the ground. After he rolled, he landed on his behind, legs spread and stretched in front of him.

The boy sighed and leaned back on his hands. “Need to work on that.” He told himself.

He stood up and looked around before choosing a way and running across the sand, ready to save the people he cared about. The one he loved.

Taglist

@skeletonixsstuff

@babyqueen17

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thetwilightroadtonightfall · 1 year ago

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hmmm. You know. I think Brain could’ve been really interesting as a disabled character

I’ve made a post before with the concept of him being visually impaired, and others in the khux community have thought about this kinda thing before with Brain (and other characters) too! With some thought, I think him having some type of physical disability could make sense in canon, and would have been really cool disabled keyblade wielder rep

Here we have this keyblade wielder who rarely ever summons his keyblade (by extension, being someone who doesn’t fight often, but can fight nevertheless since it’s practically required for anybody living in Daybreak Town) and isn’t questioned when he designates himself as the member of the group who stays in the base. He’s good with tech and crafting and research, yes. But maybe he also can’t be out in the field for too long, and feels more comfortable contributing where he can sit when he needs to and doesn’t need to exert too much physical effort on a day to day basis.

In fact, this is the guy who’s sitting down in like 75% of his cutscenes. This is the same guy whose walk animation tends to look a bit slower as well, like when he arrives at his seat at the same time as Ven even though Ven’s was farther away. Plus he’s the only one to hold onto the table as he takes a seat, maybe to steady himself (seen below)

This is the guy who says “Thought I’d be the last to arrive. Guess I’m not so lazy after all.” in one of his first scenes. With the lens of disability, I like to interpret that as him making an offhand joke or expressing a bit of self-deprecating humour for being physically slower in general, or both. And it’s quite interesting, because even though he says that, almost everything Brain does after this scene shows that he’s incredibly hardworking and determined. He doesn’t give himself enough credit, or he’s playing things close to the chest, or he’s matured into someone who strives to do better.

Maybe he has chronic pain. Maybe he’d be an ambulatory wheelchair user, and/or a cane user. Making all sorts of cool mechanical additions to them, and finding ways to make the Daybreak tower more accessible (he’s a big fan of the gear elevators!)

I dunno, I’m starting to ramble here. tl;dr I just think it would’ve been so awesome to have disabled rep with Brain, and in kh in general. If anything, khux allows us to say that keyblade wielders come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and that should include disabled wielders as well

#khux #brain kh #my headcanons #we have vala and xigbar (visually impaired) but we should have more!!#please let me know if there’s anything I need to fix! I’m no expert on disability & would like this to be a respectful think piece #my posts #knight in gothic armour

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organizationhimself · 2 years ago

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just kinda having some thinky thoughts about how dark road totally rewired eraqus's character and what a phenomenal job they did.

like here's your problem you have. you need to take this cloistered old man who raised his students in the jedi way, somehow put up with Old Man Villainy being That Way presumably on the regular, lost every last iota of his shit and turned on the Apocalypse Child he adopted as well as his surrogate son who was infested with The Evil (which the series has long established as not necessarily being good or bad without context) to say nothing of the headtrip he gave his direct heir, and you need to reduce him to a version of himself as a child that is. like. fun. someone who has a genuine friendship with xehanort and is regarded by xehanort as someone who is a "sly fox," i.e. not the sort of buffoon who tests for mastery of the keyblade by child-proofing some orbs of light.

where do you even begin?

YOU TRAUMATIZE THE UNGODLY HELL OUT OF HI--okay i'm getting ahead of myself, let's start with principles.

because eraqus is principled. he believes really firmly in the light in a way that's nearly sora-adjacent in its intensity, but the thing is that sora has this flexibility that eraqus was simply not raised to appreciate. yes, nomura, we understand you like the bright sunshine one and the wry brooding one, you did it with sora and riku, god knows what you did to axel's spine to fit him into the sunshine kid's mold next to isa as brooding anti-crybaby, and now we're doing the same thing to eraqus. ok. i love it when you're optimistic, let's do it.

so first we need confidence. easy; he's a smug little rich kid. worked for riku didn't it? (source: kh1 manga, and the fact that you cannot convince me anyone can maintain a kid with that build on a budget) but we also need to see how dark road changed him as a person. let's contrast his uptight stick-up-his-ass future with a present day class clown who doesn't take things seriously; a headstrong fighter who jokes that he'll just run away. and hey speaking of emotional damage, let's start easing into the inevitable terrible, horrific, unspeakable traumas we're going to visit on this defenseless creature with a little one as a treat:

HIT HIM RIGHT IN THE GRANDPA.

and there you go! we now have a source for eraqus's rejection of the darkness that is not simply a function of his career as a jedi keyblade master, but has an actual personal experience he can point back to in order to say "hey, darkness is the pits!! here is why." it sets the stage early for him to be already butting heads with xehanort, who takes a much more flexible look at the worlds and the way they work and is more willing to view things from the perspective that he is not an authority on the moral peculiarities of whatever world he is currently inhabiting.

xehanort is also a child of destiny [citation needed]. an isolated visitant who was born for finer things but never slept a day in his life without waking up with sand in his mouth until he reached out and took his fate in his bare hands and let it drag him all the way to scala.

where he met the blueblooded child of a keybearing legacy thousands of years in the making, just like his.

and suddenly what you have are unwitting equals. we're ready to set them both up at the chess board; eraqus's legacy is plain, he moves first and he makes no apologies for it because it's his birthright. but xehanort's half of the board is still buried in shadow, implied but never stated, never surrendered to eraqus's probing questions or revealed by his moves, but already aimed at a clash with destiny, fated, inevitable.

shall we say, already written.

and this is brilliant!! now we have a source for our "sly fox," a reason for xehanort to be extremely familiar with the way eraqus thinks (and not to star wars on main but the obi-wan kenobi series did something really similar to this narratively by using anakin and obi-wan's familiarity with each others' fighting styles to predict the actions they would take in a situation, and i will actually never be over it in my life, absolutely stealing it for a xehaqus fic sometime, just shamelessly mugging ewan mcgregor in the street for that solid gold good shit). not only that, but we also have an explanation for xehanort's motivations as described by kh3. he is not looking at the fight from the perspective of one of the pawns; he is looking at the fight as a player, deciding which pawn gets taken. selecting which rook to sacrifice in exchange for the queen.

and eraqus is opposite him, doing the exact same thing (sort of, kh3 was a little cerebral with that), but there's an important difference here that we'll come back to later on.

so, okay. we have a vague outline in the shape of a sunshine kid now. he has confidence tied to his role in society, his legacy gives him perspective, his trauma ensures that he will one day calcify against the darkness with such emphasis that he will unwittingly pad the therapy bills of an entire generation. so far so good.

but uh, yeah, his kids? he fights them? like okay, axel has his differences with his kids too but he's not trying to kill them (mostly). eraqus really definitely for real is, and ven is defenseless. so that'ssss...hard to square with the sunshine kid we're building, nomura, how do we explain that? we really can't handwave it as amnesia this time, we're not working with ansem the wise here.

(BALDR. BALDR IS HOW--

ok but wait wait wait, before we even get to baldr, there's something we can do:

make eraqus impulsive.

and i mean impulsive. make eraqus spoil for a fight with so much unmitigated howler monkey energy that he will fight his friends just to vent. (this isn't even a unique thing, riku and xion and even sora do it all the time, and we're not here to talk about ven's crimes against miners but it's clear that violence is a spoken language in kh.) eraqus is fluent, so we're making it so that all of eraqus's intensity and passion can be focused on a single point if xehanort pushes exactly the right switches in his head.

and then, y'know, yeah. make baldr slaughter all of his classmates, several of them right in front of him, because of unchecked darkness and baldr's own inability to see past his own grief and resentment for long enough to understand that all he's really doing is inflicting his own suffering on other people in a murderstorm of nihilism and bitterness. unrelenting trauma conga line, check.

and now we have almost all the elements. eraqus's principles can't allow him to accept darkness, both because his grandfather was lost to it and because it left him (by all accounts a bourgeois slacker at the bottom of his class, someone vidar doesn't even consider as a candidate for one of the lights despite what baldr has to say about eraqus as a light source) one of the only survivors of an event that completely resculpted his life and community. time to pack him off to the jedi temple land of departure to be least okayest teacher of the year, right?

well...no. we need eraqus to wait.

because he doesn't take on students. and doesn't, and doesn't, for decades. first he fights xehanort, and as we have established he is spoiling for that fight (white moves first!). and then when xehanort finally visits him to drop off that half-dead kid he found (ven was like that already shhh), he's kind of like politely like "oh, you have apprentices. they seem...bright," like he's congratulating eraqus on finally reaching a life stage that eraqus should have hit approximately 50 years ago, and eraqus is like "yeah yeah whatever shut up anyway YOU'VE got one too now right." (yen sid talks about the role of "seeker" like it's a different thing from "keyblade master" so that's where i'm extrapolating this distinction from, but regardless i don't think anyone ever seriously expected xehanort to take on students.)

my point here is that eraqus waited until the last possible opportunity to take on students. to carry on the legacy that was so important to him as a child, and to re-experience the closest thing to the camaraderie he had as a keybearer-in-training that he could ever have back. that is how impactful baldr's actions were for eraqus.

i'm veering completely into speculation now but i think eraqus was terrified. how could he not be? his class wasn't even taking the mark of mastery and still got decimated by it. how could he risk going through that again, but from odin's perspective this time? what guarantee would he ever have to avoid the same tragedy his master had failed to prevent?

so, NOW we know why eraqus's mark of mastery was a handful of light pinatas and a duel. (i like to think xehanort felt a certain level of professional embarrassment for him and wanted to make it just a little more like a real challenge.)

(this is a sidebar and i'm going to talk about my other blorbo for a second but terra has a beautiful dream of being a sly manipulator. that's why he doesn't worry about investing himself in villain schemes, because he assumes he'll see the snare coming before he gets his head caught in it, but it's never coming from directly in front of him like he expects. so this is a dream that will never come true, but he has it, and i think given what we knew about eraqus as early as blank points, its only possible source is a master who was strict and exacting, but--very occasionally--also a sly fox who secretly delighted in his students' nascent abilities to surprise and outwit him.)

back to the trauma, we also have, obviously, the explanation for eraqus's attitude towards terra, and later ven. terra is a tragedy in slow motion that eraqus has seen happen before. baldr was unable to control his darkness; it overwhelmed him, and eraqus does not have the context that xehanort does, that baldr was in some ways a product of his own darkness-shunning society. even if eraqus does have that context, i can't really see him agreeing with it--and even if he at one point agreed with it, he would have gotten that context from the same guy who last showed up at his house talking about kicking off the apocalypse for the vine.

so like. eraqus has never seen any damn thing in his whole life that doesn't confirm his bias against the darkness. does that make him innocent of parenting Incorrectly? no, he is a Bad Dad. does it explain his hopelessly unsuccessful parenting strategies? yes, it does.

what it reinforces is also that eraqus didn't want to have to fight terra and ven. the original bbs is honestly not very good about establishing this: he cries one Sad Tear. yawn. still child abuse, asshole! the stakes in bbs are also not very well established, because there's approximately six people in it and some of them are just the same guy over again, so we don't really have a sense that terra being taken over by the darkness is like...gonna mean something to eraqus that is sincerely worth the personal cost of killing him. since we're clearly no longer worried about ven, there aren't other students to protect (besides aqua, but she's a really hard sell on the "needs to be protected from terra with so much urgency he must not live another moment" front). there is no immediacy to ven's status as Apocalypse Child; if anything vanitas seems like the obviously more important threat, and maybe eraqus should be less concerned about weeding out students and more focused on vetting friends like Old Man So Clearly The Villain My Guy. bbs eraqus is just genuinely hard to like as a character.

but now we have dark road context.

and white moves first.

eraqus is not seeing terra or ven in that moment, he's seeing baldr. he's seeing the summoning of kingdom hearts that almost was, and he is gripped by meticulously prearranged, bone-deep, irrational, traumatized, unbridled impulse. the emotion must vent. the thing he was powerless to stop has returned to haunt him and he must resist it. he knows what will happen if terra strikes him down here and heads back out into the worlds in search of other hearts, other lights. he knows.

but terra resists, using the full spectrum of his strength without remorse, and it is only when eraqus's keyblade is ready to fall from his hand that he realizes the truth:

My own heart is darkness.

and when this happened in the original birth by sleep all i could think was yeah star wars dad!! nailed it your heart IS darkness you fuckin dillweed, about time!! what took you so long!!

but after dark road, this context is completely changed. eraqus is not just realizing that he fucked up.

he is realizing that he fucked up the exact same way baldr fucked up.

that he let his own grief and suffering cloud his judgment and guide his blade to strike out at his loved ones. that instead of finding a way to live with what's already happened to ven, what was long ago fated for terra, he turned his resentment outward and gave that darkness leave to consume them both whole.

but unlike baldr, eraqus regrets it.

it is that moment that xehanort cuts him down anyway, not because eraqus can't be saved the way baldr couldn't but because xehanort is cleaving away the last of his own attachments to the world so he can follow through with the rest of his plans, and i am SO NORMAL ABOUT THI

but okay anyway. eraqus has exactly one move left.

he can't see the board. unlike xehanort, he has no extra pieces of himself he can just bandy about; the warriors of light must assemble without any of his direct input, chasing the echoes of eraqus's students and pushing and pulling in reaction to xehanort's steady advance through the center. he has only one chance. he can't afford to waste it.

the kings are meeting in the middle of the board. the stalemate will come any moment, when they're both out of moves and out of time, leaving the fate of the worlds undecided.

and it is at this moment that eraqus pulls the same penultimate move that xehanort himself used on baldr, confronting him with the first victim his darkness ever struck down. eraqus almost doesn't have to say anything, at all, because xehanort has to know what it means. has to know what it says.

xehanort resists. the world is too far gone. too many horrible things can happen in it; it must be reset. not purged and filled with darkness, like baldr wanted, but returned to a state that can never mutate into the conditions that made baldr exist in the first place. that doomed all their classmates to die. it's too late.

For us, perhaps...but not for them.

and now we go back to the distinction.

the thing that makes xehanort's chess game different from eraqus's is that, for xehanort, it's only chess. the pieces he's moving have ceased to exist in his mind as individuals. they are pawns on a line of white and black squares, and they may weave away from his will here or there but they cannot be swayed from their march.

eraqus never forgets.

and it's actually eraqus's capacity for forgiveness that i haven't even touched on yet. this isn't a word i ever expected to associate with him, but eraqus spends dark road forgiving. five minutes after any altercation he's already forgotten about it. name-calling. arguments. rejection. opposition. full-on fighting.

murders.

when xehanort kills baldr, eraqus is still calling out for him to stop. when xehanort later strikes out at him with darkness (the thing eraqus is scared of the most!!), permanently disfiguring him, eraqus has already forgiven him before seeing him the next time in person.

he does not forget that baldr is a person in spite of his darkness, and eraqus doesn't want him to be killed for it. that terra is a person in spite of his darkness, and eraqus doesn't want to see it consume him. that ven is a person in spite of the darkness that was cleaved from him, and eraqus doesn't want to see it return.

(if you think about it the real tragedy is that we were robbed of him looking aqua in the eye and telling her that she isn't tainted forever, that it did not take her, and even if it had, that will always, always matter less than her finding her way back. i refuse to believe terra was not already made aware of these facts.)

but he also does not forget that xehanort is not a faceless player in the skies, impossible to convince of the significance of a pawn; he remembers that xehanort, too, is still a person.

this point is important because eraqus's last move is not a checkmate (I KNOW HE SAYS CHECKMATE but it is not checkmate), but it is calculated to produce something else: a concession. he doesn't need the board to support his win or xehanort's loss; he needs the player on the other side to put down the pieces and follow his beacon out of the dark.

and that is how nomura shows us our sunshine kid at last, fully formed, as he takes xehanort's burdens from him and spirits them both well beyond the reach of the board.

anyway yeah microwaving him in my brain along with axel (and also roxas and terra because if i don't collect all my blorbos AND their hot mess dads i'll never fill out my pokedex).

#eraqus #xehanort #kingdom hearts dark road #khdr #xehaqus #i would apologize for the length if i were sorry

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strayheartless · 9 months ago

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More than a question. Holy shit finally someone talking abt strifehart!!!! Imma follow you TwT

I feel like a fraud😭😅 I would die for strifehart honestly, but I am incredibly guilty of not posing about them as much as I would like. So….

Here have some of my Strifehart headcanons:

They don’t show affection very freely around other people but if they fall asleep together on the Couch everyone is always surprised to find out that Squall is the clingy one.

They are both guilty of dad-ing Sora. Squall will hand him money, his keyblade and some extra potions and snacks before he heads out the door; while Cloud will zip up his hoodie, check his gear and do the whole “if you need us you call, Kay?” Sora’s given up trying to point out that they are not his Dads.

They rib each-other endlessly, smirking the entire time. Things like, “gods Squall, why are you so useless?”, “dunno, must have caught it from you!” It always has people asking how they can be a couple.

The loving bullying doesn’t stop when their alone, it’s just more tactile. Poking, hip checking, raspberries, tickle fights, picking the other up and bodily moving them when their in the way, flicking the others nose, aggravated biting, hitting each other with magazines and newspapers when the other isn’t paying attention, play fights. They are like actual children but no one ever sees it cause they like it to just be for them.

They steal each others food all the time. Which is funny because they are both quite territorial about food by nature. This usually ends up in one of them grabbing the others hand and forcibly trying to wrestle the food out of it; or playing keep away with their plates.

They work with eachother silently and like they’ve done it all their lives. They always seem to know where the other is and move accordingly to being in each others space.

Cloud is the only ONLY other person aside from Sora who is aloud to be left alone with Tron. Squall would chew off his own leg before giving DiZ the passwords and while he likes Ienzo he’s still not really sure he trusts him.

They communicate through raised eyebrows alone. And always know what the others thinking.

Cloud has had to physically retrain Squall from beating the shit out of Siefer the first time they went to Twilight town and found out this GROWN ASS ADULT had been bullying kids. (I know canonically Seifer is supposed to be a little older than Hayner pence and Olette but I vibe more with the darkness took Gaia and the planet headcanon than the “everyones from radiant gardens” canon.)

Squall is naturally left handed but was forced to write right handed in in SeeD and so Cloud keeps taking the pen out of his right hand and butting it in Squall’s actual dominant hand.

Cloud carries all his stress in his shoulders and hands (you know exactly where this one’s going.) and Squall is usually the one massaging out the tension and …. Kin- pfft🤣 I’m sorry I cant!

Cloud knows every one of Squalls buttons and how to push them. He can be irritating when it suits him and sometimes he gets bored enough to provoke his partner. Squall usually ignores him which is a mistake because it makes Cloud push harder until he ends up in a headlock.

Squall will never EVER Admit that he gets seriously grouchy when Clouds away. Like it’s adorable but Aerith wants to strangle him most days when he’s skulking about like a lion with a sore tail. It’s incredibly amusing to watch his head snap up when he hears Fenrir pull up outside of Merlin’s.

#strifehart headcanons #strifehart #ask #ask answered #Anon #anon ask #you didn’t ask but I have an answer anyway #squall leonhard #KH squall #KH cloud #cloud strife #KH sora

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lila-chantilly · 8 months ago

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Alright some info on Lucian!

You're probably looking at that part about killing his own Chirithy and going "what??" Well, let me explain!

When I first watched Back Cover, I looked at how MoM pit the Foretellers against one another and thought "this Keyblade War is so stupid, why did anyone participate in it? Didn't anyone think something was up and just walk out?"

And then I realized that when we look at stories, we tend to view them from a bird's eye view especially when we, the audience, know what's going on behind the scenes. I learned that when you place yourself in the shoes of the characters, suddenly the world is so big and you don't know anything.

So here's how Back Cover looked from Lucian's perspective:

He was an ordinary Keyblade wielder from Leopardos. He was sociable, athletic, loyal to his Union, and had a healthy competitive streak. He took great pride and enjoyment in being a Keyblade wielder.

During one raid, he met Lila and developed a crush on her, when he tried to talk to her, her friends shooed him away and told him to talk to someone from his own Union. Cus that's just how it was back then, there was no war, but Union rivalries were still a thing.

And then the Master of Masters disappears, leaving the Unicornis leader in charge. And then the Ursus leader is seen in public attacking the Anguis leader. And there's this whole scuffle between the leaders that ends with the Leopardos leader (his leader), going into hiding, likely last seen limping in the streets, likely last rumored to have almost been killed by the Ursus leader.

And you can just imagine the rumors and paranoia that were flying around at that time. "I heard there's a traitor among us" "I heard one of the Unions fell to darkness" "I heard Aced attacked Invi" "I heard Aced tried to kill Gula" "I heard Ava is recruiting from other Unions" "what's Ira doing about all of this?" "Has anyone seen Master Gula yet? Is he even alive?"

Then Gula resurfaces, instructs his Union members to hoard Lux, which prompts the other Unions to do the same. By the time the War takes place, tensions are so high Player has to break apart a fight in the Fountain Square.

Lucian, being very immersed in his Union, fell into much of the paranoia, hostility, and mistrust towards other Unions. You can bet he was one of those guys starting fights, especially when you consider it's likely very personal between the Leopardos and Ursus guys (considering Aced tried to kill Gula, and now Gula was hoarding Lux).

His fear reached a breaking point during the actual War when amidst all the death and violence, he decided to desert. He ran from the other Wielders who chased him and planned to hide out in one of the other Worlds, though his Chirithy tried to stop him.

And here's the thing about Chirithies. They come from the MoM don't they? They can appear anywhere and see anything, can't they? They very clearly know things Wielders don't. So can they be trusted?

Lucian wasn't thinking straight anymore, he wanted to be safe from all the darkness and death, so he slayed his own Chirithy, opened a portal to another world, and fled.

Except the Worlds were very different back then, and only appeared a certain way to the Wielders cus of the Book of Prophecies, and the Keyblade War was tearing it all apart. So Lucian, finding nothing, realized he had been living a lie and had nowhere to run.

At that moment, his Chirithy appeared, now as a Nightmare, having survived the blow. Corrupted with both grief and the darkness in Lucian's heart, his Nightmare Chirithy grabbed him and forcibly fused with him, then dragged him into the Realm of Sleep where he lived in anguish as a Nightmare for years.

Until one day he saw a faint light, one that felt familiar. He tore through the Realm of Sleep to reach it, ending up back in the waking world, in Bounty City, where he would wreak havoc until he was defeated by Lila.

Lucian and his Chirithy (now normal again) unfused and lay fading. Lila listened to their story and realized that there was so much sketchy things going on with the Union Leaders, that all those young Wielders (herself included) paid for. She previously refused to become a Keyblade Wielder again, but Lucian's death became the inciting incident that got her to take up her Keyblade and seek out the Foretellers-- for answers and vengeance.

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts oc #khux #khux oc #my art #artofmamon #darksideofthemamon #lucian (oc)

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romy350-romyakari · 4 months ago

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Kingdom Hearts OC Week 2024

Day 3: Connections

It's the third day and I can't believe we are here already here but I promised some fun stuff like the people in her life so let's dive into them shall we?

The people in Lux's life trend to leave a mark on her be intentional or not, most of the time is amazing memories that outweigh the bad which she chooses to take to keep moving forward. Here we will learn a bit more of this people and what probably make her connect to them even if briefly or long term.

Let's start with her close family and then go with the friends she made along the way.

Lux's mom, Ophélie, is someone that both of the siblings cherish a lot. She was their anchor and when things got rough she was the one that taught her and her brother how to adapt.

She wanted them both to fend for themselves as the world is a complicated place but if there was a good chance on the horizon she would want them to take it, she inspires their resilience and to try and thrive against the odds. Ophélie was the one that gave her the nickname Lux long ago.

Daybreak Town actually living to the claims and stories was the best news she could get from her kids letters and even if they are so far away they cherish each other. Her mom is also the root of some hobbies of she started and her love for flowers.

Her mother is doing better and luck has been better knowing they are fine, she has been thinking on visiting them lately [more onto that on another day :)]

I have mention Lux has a younger brother, so let's talk about him.

The little guy may be younger but has got the hang of things quite quickly once in town but will always have each other. Lux as a sister is a bit of a hassle with how overbearing she may feel as she tries to take the role of the oldest seriously but she comes off as a bit of a goof since she has a soft spot for him but he just accepts that she is trying[She could spoil him a lot but he won't let her do it so often, stubborn kid uh?].

The power of the keyblade awoke in him quite early and it did help show how he stands of his own but has a bit of wisdom, ever since becoming a keyblade wielder he stick to his party most of the time and not put himself on harms ways till he knows he can handle him. He is Lux's inspiration to grow and become better since she wants to have his back in case he ever wants her help. If she were to have a board of "do it for them" his brother would absolutely be in that board.

They both have weekly meet ups to send their letters together to their mom and catch up!

I can say one thing, it was such a relief that both were Dandelions because oh they would have not left if the other had no guarantee to be fine on the aftermath.

That round up her close family, let's go to the friends she made along the way~

I mention she had a friend that show her the ropes when she became a wielder, this was a special kind of friendship that probably was bound to last just enough to make good memories. Things just happen but Lux thinks fondly on those times even when the line was draw that she had to let go of this friend. This friendship was something that she is just thankful to have experience and learn from it. Sometimes you just have to keep moving forward and let some things go.

She can't remember what happen to him because of the locked memories as a Dandelion of The End, maybe it helps but still appreciates the nice time she had back then.

She has some friends that she has some friendly banter and while they cant be a party on the official sense, different unions and all that stuff, they exchange info as the the crew that is stuck on the Agrabah duty. Need some help on that zone? oh they got a lot of tips for you. The all may have requested other zones and are still waiting, but they stick together in the mean time and this is the kind of solidarity that makes the many visits to the desert less tiring.

Probably there is also comfort of having some others to discuss this stuff that remind her to her previous party. She has not join a new one ever since but this is the closes that reminds them of the solidarity and community it was to have back then.

She has some hobbies and through one of them she kinda meet someone unexpected, a friend of sorts. The chances truly but it makes you thinks is nice when some things are just unexpected but happen. It is nice to open up to people by chance!

The idea crossed my head long ago because uh older sibling of someone and somehow plant coded is some way. You can ask me for the details any time tho this fact will be fun for my timeline recap on Day 7!

We are closing the post with Chiri, Lux's chirithy, they have been though a lot together. From Chiri adjusting to her as a new wielder to having her back on her day to day, they actually are a good team! This two just grew to understand each other. Lux cherishes Chiri quite a lot and Chiri just tries to guide her through her journey as much as they can. She likes their down times since is when they can do more things than just work, they are and adorable duo.

That's it for the main connections she has, maybe it gave you a glimpse of what she is like with people. Prefers to be positive but can adapt to things even if it take a bit sometimes, there is more missing on that matter but I will see if I can give a nice glimpse into that.

See ya later!

#khocweek2024 #kh oc week 2024 #khocweek #Kingdom Hearts #KH #lux the keykid #khux #keykid #my keykid #doodle dodo~

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luxmoogle · 1 year ago

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Asdfjl Riku over here like: Don't look at me in this form! Meanwhile Sora and Kairi are both like: You're stupid! Taking his hand, bb you're just going through growing pains you're fine. I love these idiots

Thankfully Riku has been healed and found his way to the dawn by now.. ( ˘⌣˘ ) What I'm worried about is the problem at hand: Sora.

It's interesting, how Riku's pain has been so visible, he's been seen loud and clear about his pain and got the support he needed. Riku's self doubt and fear in the end had nowhere to go when the one's around him made it impossible for him to doubt how much they care.

But Sora's pain is silent, hidden. His friends can't help him like they could Riku, because he can't voice it, he hides it and let's it out in fits of rage instead. Sora convinces everyone around him he's okay, diverts the attention to anything than himself.

Sora's been made to feel very small since forever. On the island the others tease him about how he'll never be strong enough or good enough, Riku makes it clear he's the strongest, even teasing Sora with taking away Kairi by suggesting he'd share a paopu with her instead of Sora. Everywhere Sora goes people doubt him, Leon wonders why the Keyblade would choose a kid like him, this ordinary boy. He constantly get's laughed out, by enemies, by acquaintances, by friends. All the belittling comments. Even after rescuing all these worlds and people, his friends tell him he's not ready, he can't go with them to save Aqua, he's not strong enough, not good enough.

Every time someone get's hurt or something goes wrong, it's a confirmation that they're right, he's not strong enough. It's his fault. He has to fix it, he has to carry the burden, it's all he's good for, to support his friends, and therefore he's expendable, he'll sacrifice himself, because he doesn't matter. Only they matter, he's not special. Not like Riku. Not like Kairi. He knows they care, but it doesn't matter, it doesn't take away the hurt and anger gnawing at him. He's so hurt he doesn't even realize it himself.

Sora's self worth is fractured to pieces, even when all his friends crowd around him, they can't reach his heart.

#ask #answer #my ramblings

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mimiplaysgames · 3 months ago

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The Bed Story, ch. 4 (Free Day)

Terraqua Day 2024, Day 4

Terra/Aqua | Terra/Anti-Aqua Rating: M Word Count: 6,125 @terraquaweek

Summary: Terra meets Anti-Aqua, and he's sorry for what they did and didn't do.

Read on AO3

A/N: Ahhh I had such anxiety attacks about publishing this chapter yesterday that I just didn't at all. So I'm a day behind with prompts. I told myself I would never use this plot point of finding Aqua's Keyblade in a fic again (save for one last fic that I have not published yet) and here I am... using it again. Oops. Either way, in this chapter, I got to play with a concept I've never done before and had a lot of fun with, so I still hope you guys find this chapter enjoyable.

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Information comes in bits and pieces. Terra and Ven align what little they’ve gathered in a comprehensible order, to get them started in the right place. Terra’s body was left behind in the courtyard Aqua and Xehanort had fought, in Radiant Garden. Then… something. Something happened that dragged Terra’s body away. Someone must have come by to pick him up. Who? Oh, this neighbor said Ansem the Wise found an orphan many years ago, okay. Funny to call someone as tall as you an orphan, but okay. Oh great, he’s dead. Now what? Well, who else was here? No idea. Wait, didn’t they say that castle once belonged to Ansem? Yeah. Let’s check it out.

Once they get there: Wow, Terra. They do not like you. But do you know what this means? Yeah. Bingo.

And this leads them to Xehanort’s peaceful old bedroom. The windows overlook Radiant Garden’s skyline, which is now stitched with pipes and electric traps as the city fortifies its own defense against Heartless. Some roofs need patching up but have to wait due to limiting resources. The city commission uses Ansem’s castle frequently for recovery and technological advances. Radiant Garden isn’t the same jewel—severely chipped, clouded, and gnarled, all while healing slowly. All while Xehanort’s bedroom remains… well, tranquil and undisturbed, to look out at such a beautiful view of the horizon, despite the ugliness.

Xehanort’s bedroom has the same creepy juxtaposition: the dust has settled over his belongings, and it’s weird, because these were belongings Terra had touched, not Xehanort. Terra’s body, Terra’s touch. A worn out adventure novel with most of the pages bent in the corners sits on the nightstand table, waiting to be read again. That’s weird, because Terra adores that novel, too. Does that mean Xehanort and Terra have the same taste, or did Terra influence Xehanort’s taste? Then, there is this thick leather textbook with a bunch of equations. That’s weird, because Terra has no stars-damned clue what any of it means, but there are handwritten notes on the margins with, yep, some careful calligraphy that is Terra’s, and jutted rushed strikes of someone who thought too fast for the pace he wrote in.

Terra sits on Xehanort’s bed. Terra’s head had slept on this pillow here. Weird. Terra’s head. Here. And yet, infuriating. Terra’s head, safe in solace, all this time without him realizing. For years. The pillow is arranged towards the window, so when Xehanort laid down, he was able to watch the stars overhead before sleeping. Weird. Maybe Xehanort favored the stars. Or maybe Terra missed them. Terra’s bed back home was arranged the same way.

For what it’s worth, the bed is squishy and invites a nap. Much better than the thin carpet in the Master’s study.

Right now, the keepers of the Ansem’s castle are looking for a scientist named Even, who might know the whereabouts of Aqua’s Keyblade. Everyone else in the castle had said, Oh yeah. I remember some Keyblade. Dunno what happened to it.

“So,” Ven says, poking a finger at a glass chemistry set. “You’re gonna tell me what’s going on with you?”

Terra considers taking the pillow home. It smells of patchouli, which isn’t a cologne Terra would have chosen, but it’s comforting.

“About what?”

Ven rolls his eyes. “You know what. Show me.”

Terra extends his hand, but instead of calling Earthshaker, he tries for No Name one more time. Maybe being in this room will beckon it to come. Think about hunger, and Terra’s own satiation when he comes close to achievement. Think about the taboo. Taste it. Think about how full it felt, how delicious, when Terra wielded Darkness for the first time and felt like he could bend gravity. Think about how Aqua might feel this way now, drunk on power.

No, don’t think about Aqua and how Terra let it all tear apart.

Nothing happens.

“Earthshaker still won’t come?”

Terra lowers his arm. “No.”

“I don’t get it.” Ven scratches his face. “I mean, I know that when a wielder changes, the Keyblade will change with them sometimes, but…”

Terra squeezes his own bicep. A bitter medicine to drink, and no sugar to help it go down. “Maybe I’ve changed in ways Earthshaker doesn’t approve of.”

“That makes zero sense. Earthshaker is yours.” Ven huffs. “That’s like saying you don’t want it anymore.”

Is that true? Terra rubs fingers to his palm, and considers the possibility. Why he tries for No Name over Earthshaker, exchanging his own essence for something better than what he can offer. Maybe it’s that he can’t trust anything he thinks anymore. No Name is stronger. Facts are facts.

And maybe Earthshaker is no longer Earthshaker anymore. Maybe all Terra has left are the remnants the Guardian digested. Something warped, and stupid, and Dark. Maybe Terra will never again feel what it’s like to hold an extension of Light.

“Can I hold your Keyblade?” Terra asks.

“Hm? Yeah, definitely.” Ven summons Wayward Wind, and the air in the room thaws with a blanket of safety.

Compared to the length of Terra’s arm, Wayward Wind is a dagger, but sturdy. Eager, excitable, like it wants to fly and never touch the ground again. Terra feels compelled to twirl it in circles over and over, and it brings him childish joy to repeat this movement, like bouncing a yo-yo. While he does this, Ven grins, and Wayward Wind smiles back. There’s a sense of pick-me, pick-me deep beneath the surface, like when Ven raised his hand before Aqua and Terra did after the Master asked a question in class, desperate to answer it before they had a chance. Keeping up. Trailing behind. Keeping up. Trailing behind, always wanting to explore but caught in a cage. Beneath that, this belief that there’s a reason he was left behind. Deeper than that, maybe they were right.

Most importantly, when Terra stops the twirling, and adjusts Wayward Wind’s position in this fist, this expanse of hope quells everything else, knowing the sun comes out on the other side. For a Keyblade so small, it has more optimism than anything else Terra has felt in his life.

“You’re a good friend to yourself, Ven.”

“I am?” Ven takes Wayward Wind back, but before he can say more, someone knocks on the door. That someone lets himself in.

This someone is…

“Ienzo,” he says, reading Terra’s confusion correctly and re-introducing himself. Ienzo drags in a cart stuffed with a mountain of journals and reports on spiral bounds. He can barely look Terra in the face, so he addresses Ven. “This is everything Xehanort has recorded.” He clears his throat, and pats a neat stack on the side. “This here refers to the research you specifically requested.”

“Thank you.” Terra says, who was the one who requested the material, not Ven.

“You’re welcome,” Ienzo says to Ven. “Um…” He lets go of the cart, and begins to turn, then stops himself. He faces Terra but looks at the floor. “I suppose this research is your entitlement.”

“Excuse me?”

“It is rightfully yours.” He clears his throat again. “Or is it not?”

Ven gapes. “Sure,” he answers for a shocked Terra, then shoots a look at Terra that says, We’ll burn it all later.

Ienzo lowers his voice. “Before I leave, there is one thing I wanted to say.”

Terra holds his breath. He would move to Xehanort’s desk so he can begin sifting through the pages, but he’s getting the impression that sudden movement would scare this guy away.

Ienzo glances into Terra’s eyes. Looks away. Glances again. Looks at the wall. “You look so much like him.”

Ven groans. “It’s the other way around. Xehanort. Xehanort is the one who looked so much like Terra.”

“Of course.”

“It’s okay, Ven.” Terra delicately stands, and takes the leather journal at the top of the stack, where he meets Ienzo eye-to-eye. “Don’t take it personally. It is what it is.”

Ienzo nods too quickly, chin to chest. Before closing the door behind him, Ienzo steps back inside. With a hand on the knob, he says, “I want you to know, he made me feel like I was limitless. He was the one who showed me I could make anything, that I can even fly, and... And I am so sorry about that.”

Terra sits at Xehanort’s desk. The journal is extra-large, the same size of a textbook. A perfect fit for Terra’s hands.

Master Terra. Xehanort uttered those words.

“He made me feel the same.” Over his shoulder, he smiles at Ienzo. “No need for an apology.”

“Are we seriously considering this?” Ven asks about the journals when Ienzo leaves them alone, sliding the second-to-top journal off the stack like it smells.

Terra opens the cover, and reads the date. Two years after Xehanort won.

Terra scans page after page—theory and history, most of it familiar from Fairytale lore, like what’s stored in Affairs of the Heart but legible. These read as summaries. Perhaps he was reminding himself of the basics. “We just need something, Ven.”

“But Xehanort?”

“He knew things we didn’t.”

Ven sighs. Ven understands—Xehanort knew things that hurt Ven more than anyone else, and none of them are found in old tomes.

“I can read these,” Terra says, realizing he’s asking Ven for too much. “You should go have fun. I heard they’re bringing back food carts.”

“Nah, I’m fine.” He’s not. “I want to help.”

“Okay. But if you start to get upset, you stop. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Ven moves over beakers on a shelf to make space for himself, and Terra goes back to the journal, only to skim through the final page and realize it’s not what he’s hoping for.

Next.

A thick folder of yellowing paper scribbled with equations, and no markers to translate what they mean.

Next.

A diary. Terra’s heart pounds. Does he want to know? His stomach churns something acidic when he flips through dates. He shouldn’t. He’s nauseous. He’s curious. These are emotions laid bare, Xehanort’s personal, not clinical, reactions to his experiments. He lists patterns. Glowing eyes for successes, glazed over when failures. There are descriptions of people Xehanort enticed to the dungeons, and—

Terra shuts the diary, and rubs his eyes. He touches himself: hands on wrists, on forearms, on his chest, on his face. This is his face. This is mine… despite being the last face these victims pleaded with.

“You okay?”

“Fine.” Terra sounds convincing enough, and only needs a moment. Reminds himself that not everyone flinches when they see his face. Ven smiles. Ven wants to see his face.

And Aqua...

“None of it was your fault, you know?”

Terra wishes these people had a more peaceful passing. “Thanks, Ven.”

Terra opens the diary again, and thumbs through pages that describe the experiments in too much detail. He wonders if Xehanort was aware Terra was there. But there is no mention of a shadow following Xehanort anywhere. He had no idea he had access to the Guardian for his use.

Not until his Heartless was formed years later. Xehanort’s heart remembered, even when his mind didn’t.

Terra hits a passage, sounding like the vulnerability of an existential crisis late at night:

I yearn for an old friend I can’t remember, to pass these nights with.

And one more: What used to fill me with joy has left my heart bored.

Are these passages talking about Eraqus? Or is this Terra’s influence, and they’re talking about Aqua?

“Ugh.”

Terra turns over. The chair can’t spin. “What’s going on?”

“This.” Ven holds up a leaflet stapled together, damaged by water. Or fluids? It doesn’t look like blood. “It—” He looks like he’s about to vomit.

“Here.” Terra takes it from Ven, and reads. Theories about the χ-blade, but one passage sounds about right:

There is a validity to the argument that our hearts are not one source of power, but many sewn together. Light intertwined with Darkness in repressive knots. Not an object that draws a shadow in the presence of a light source, but threads twisted together. To separate the two is feasible, but imagine the difficulty to pull apart raveled yarn one thread at a time.

To bind them back together, make them relink but in different places, like a puzzle cube, is ideal. This is where the true heart lies, where the soul of Man can be read: What piece is he willing to take out? How would he change? What would he learn if he wove it back together?

Further than this, I would be remiss not to ask myself, after dreaming of memories I do not have: What would it take me to remove something of which I am not aware is there?

Related to this discussion, how does Man live on? What does it mean to give my share to another, and plant a piece in someone else’s heart?

By what extension does this method become irreversible? Is that what I want?

A footnote:

I’ve done it. Braig has become my first successful attempt. I made certain that it would be near impossible to remove my Darkness from his consciousness.

I dare not ponder the possibility of him sharing a piece of himself with me—that is out of the question. Seeing how he has changed proves to me that I must maintain all records of who receives my blessing.

For the sake of science, we attempted to force my essence out. It threatened to destroy all his memory of me.

To rule out correlation, I’ve attempted this on [name too damaged by fluid to be legible] and it was successful up until she lost all memory. The night after, she killed herself.

Perhaps this is in relation to the fact that Braig fully accepted me. I need a different approach. I need a body with no heart at all—

Terra can’t breathe. He hauls a trash can and gags into it, but nothing comes out except spit.

“Hey, you okay?”

Terra gags again, then swallows. He croaks, “Yeah.”

“It’s all bullshit.”

“Language,” he says, coarse. Vanitas. The curse words have to be Vanitas’s lingering influence on Ven.

“But what does it mean for Aqua exactly?”

Terra reads the words again, searching for an answer between the lines. But there’s no denying it. “The Guardian gave a piece of it—of me, my Darkness—to her. They’ve intertwined. That’s why she’s like this.”

Terra reads the passage again, looking for confirmation that this is so. Was Xehanort aware of Terra’s jealousy? Did his Heartless know? And took advantage of it? Jealous of her, then sabotaged her. Which isn’t… Terra would never…

And yet, Aqua stands above it all, strong enough (stronger than Terra) to control a new Keyblade. There has to be hope there.

“But… when Xehanort tried to take Vanitas away from me—” Ven sniffs. He hasn’t been able to talk about Vanitas since they’ve come back. “Look what it did to me.”

“I remember.”

“Terra, I don’t want her to forget us.”

Despite Terra’s own chasm spawning in his chest cavity... “She won’t.” Ven can’t quite believe it, either.

“I mean,” Ven says, grasping for exceptions, “you were fine. Right? You kept your memory.”

Terra’s breath hitches. “The difference is…” Careful. “I fought him out. Didn’t I? You didn’t want to be separated. Aqua…”

Ven can’t, or doesn’t, want to accept that. He shakes his head. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” Then, without allowing Terra to reply, he says, “Rainfell will bring her back. We just have to find it.”

A knock on the door. This man introduces himself as Even. “His resemblance to you…” he says to Terra. “I apologize.”

For someone who is dead, Xehanort has achieved true immortality—living on in memory. Which includes Terra. He keeps Xehanort alive just by his heart remembering.

Even leads them into the dungeons, a slow, meticulous crawl down a tower of stairs. Terra is grateful that Ven hasn’t read the diary. All the more blissful. These rooms ooze of Darkness, as if Terra has stepped into the Realm of Darkness with no armor.

That may not be quite right. Aqua has told Ven the Realm of Darkness is numbing. This place is repugnant, shadows and ink seeping from below the doors. Terra has to cover his face to stop himself from breathing it in.

Even leads them to the end of the hall, where he pries open an electronically locked door with a machine in his hand. Something fancy to bypass some other fancy technological advancement.

“It’s here!” Ven says, running inside. Terra is more cautious, surveying his surroundings before taking a step. A simple throne room that means absolutely nothing to him and is never mentioned in Xehanort’s diary. “Terra, look!”

Among her armor strewn across the floor is a Keyblade. Different, sleeker, with a sharp edge to the blade, designed to strike something as narrow as a tendon with precision. Undoubtedly, this is Rainfell, updated. Terra picks it up, and is blessed with an image of a bright star among all stars, like one offset from a constellation.

Rainfell recognizes him, and it sighs. It’s tired of waiting. It doesn't know why there is this hollow feeling simmering beneath the metal. Its essence is shallow, like tight breaths, exhausted but awake. Aqua’s star blinks—something within is alive. Rainfell has been a Keyblade of pure, blind faith, but this version is not faith, but conviction. This is what it feels like to have hope.

“This throne room?” Terra asks Even.

Even is deadfaced when he says, “It wasn’t part of the original blueprint. Xemnas built it.”

Terra’s Nobody built it for Rainfell. Aqua’s star has never stopped lighting Terra’s way back, no matter what form he came in.

“Ven, here.” Terra lifts Rainfell over so they can both touch it. “Say hi, so Aqua knows we’re there for her.”

And when Ven does, he cries.

~*~

Aqua can’t fix it: the narrow stained glass window in the hall on the way to the residential wing. It’s cracked, splintering her reflection into shards, her golden eyes sliced into knives.

The Master wouldn't be pleased with this, if he were alive. Aqua clenches her jaw. He wouldn't be pleased to look at her either, but Aqua prays to him all the same. I know I'm supposed to be a Master, but I still have questions.

She presses the pad of her claw to the shred between, willing her Darkness to fill the space and seal it together, but the glass breaks off and shatters into minuscule gems on the floor. Nothing in the castle does what she wants it to. She’s even tried to fix the bells so they can ring on the hour. They don’t. She can’t fix them.

Shhhhh, dear, my dear, this place is not built for you.

Her shoulder ticks. Every time one of those voices speaks, she resists the temptation to hit something. One clone, two, more, are in the hall with her. Terra and Ven can’t see them.

Look at what you’ve done, the Second says to her.

It’s not my fault, Third says.

We’ve been alone for so long, the Fourth one says. When are they coming home?

You can’t stay here, says the First. You know it’s not good for you.

“Don’t say that to me,” Aqua says. When they speak, they have her stare at things, wondering if it’s her in the reflection of this broken stained glass, or if they’re all staring back. Is that just her reflection on the armored statues? Only her shadow on the walls? She can’t count sometimes.

First says, But it’s true, my dear.

Though First has a point. Her shadows are the only things that don't run from her. And another point: as much as she longed to be with Terra and Ven again—

Especially Terra, Fourth says.

—Darkness and Light can't blend that well, can it? Has the Master been right all this time? Aqua groans from the thought. If the Master was right, then why is she like this? Destructive, scratching most of what she touches. Everyone stares at her scales. No one allows her peace. They keep her as close as an enemy.

Don’t make me feel anything, Third says. Please. It hurts too much.

“Aqua!” That’s Ven trying to find her. He has a knack of knowing where she is, perfect Light to perfect Darkness. That’s how it works, right? Suppress the Darkness so much it no longer exists, or let it take over.

Sweet little Ven, Fourth says.

You’ll break his little innocent heart, First says. Why do you string him along?

Don’t forget the barrier he put up, Second says. Neither of them trust you.

“Shut up,” Aqua mutters.

“Aqua,” Ven calls when he spots her. In his hand—Look. A perfect Light. The irony, Second says—is a ball of light. “Look what I made for you.” A sphere of fire contained within a tornado. “Neat trick, right? It’ll keep your hands warm.”

“Ven, that’s…” Sweet. Kind. Aqua cups her hands and accepts it. The flames are only slightly homely, a small campfire in the middle of a blizzard.

Let her feel, Fourth says. I want to feel, too.

First says, No. You know what it does to her.

“Thank you, Ven.” With him, her tone is muddled, tame, needy. She cups one of his cheeks and he… tenses. Stops himself from flinching at the sight of her claws. But how can she pull away? Ven is her brother—the very reason why she kept going. To wake him up. To see him safe. “That’s so considerate of you.”

Third: Well, you woke him up like you wanted, and look how he repays you.

First: Making you feel you're too dangerous to be around.

Fourth: It’s nice to be cared for, isn’t it? He needs a hug from you.

Second: She’ll need to declaw herself, first.

“You’re welcome,” Ven says, his smile trembling. It’s like he’s expecting to be scratched.

Aqua lets him go. He needs to be reassured, and she knows just the thing. “Here.” In one free hand, she summons a swirl of Darkness, one to mimic his gift.

Second: You’re still scary.

Aqua tries smiling. It feels too vulnerable, and her muscles stiffen. Ven swallows with effort as he holds her gift to him far from his heart.

“Really cool,” Ven says in a way that implies the opposite. Awkward silence. “Does it…?” He bends the Darkness into shapes. It’s malleable, and he nods, impressed. “Not bad.”

"Ven," she starts.

First, warning her: My dear.

"I care so much about you," Aqua says. She's not sure if Ven would accept an apology for brandishing a Keyblade against him in the heat of the moment.

Ven smiles, like a salve soothing her over. "I know."

For a moment, Aqua is at peace. Even when uncertain and wary, Ven’s smile is a balm. He’s safe, and he will always be safe under her care.

Then—

“Ven, Aqua, you there?” Terra. His voice shatters every treasure of glass she keeps in the mirrors of her mind. There’s a deep need to listen to him crack a joke, even if she doesn’t, or can’t, laugh. A desire for him to tell her he needs her just as badly, and a fear that isn’t true anymore. Like drowning in sand, Aqua doesn't want to be so affected by every small gesture he does. But she is. Every time he’s around, Aqua’s heart bleeds. She can’t help it. Can’t stop it. Can’t fix it.

First: Oh, my dear. Can’t you see? You can’t stay.

“Stop.”

“Mm?” Ven says, looking up at her. “Did you say something?”

Strapped to Terra’s back is Stormfall, but Aqua has known it was coming. Terra and Ven both have cried on it. She would have cried with them if she could.

Stars, Terra’s shoulders are so broad, his chest so powerful, his waist thick. The way he moves twists a scalpel in Aqua's heart: the even pace between his strides. Timid. Not the way they rush when he's confident. Or how his knees bounce too much when he's distracted with trying to impress. Timid, like a dog with a tail between his legs.

She feels the need to apologize to him, too.

Second: What for?

First: There isn't any reason.

Third: It should be the other way around.

Fourth: He already apologized. It wasn't enough for either of you.

The space under his eyes is dark. Sleep evades him, his tan face a little pale. And when he looks at her, his smile is tight, but his deep blue eyes betray him. She can hear the thump-thump of his heart. She’s an animal now. She knows when something comes alive when they see her.

That last night before the Mark of Mastery, she should have stayed in his bed.

If you did, First says, you would have taken with you the memory of what his skin would have felt on you, around you, inside you. His warmth, his weight. You’ve forgotten, haven’t you? His smell. His voice.

That Keyblade… Second says.

He’s always had such a beautiful jawline, First says.

That Keyblade! Third says.

It hurts to look at him, First says. Doesn’t it? Don’t you want that pain to go away?

Terra does that chuckle when he’s nervous, the signal that she’s been staring at him too long. “Look what I have.” His bicep flexes when he reaches to pull Stormfall off his back. “Rainfell.”

Come home, First says.

“It’s Stormfall now,” Aqua says. Her Keyblade croaks, as if reaching a hand out to speak to her, but Aqua doesn’t want to hear it. Stormfall can’t agree with an anti-heart, let alone an Anti-Aqua.

Ven’s fire churns in her hands. It burns. Too much. She crushes the tornado and snuffs out the fire with her claws, when she doesn’t mean to.

She can’t fix this, either.

Ven tenses. He lets go of her Darkness, and it dissipates. “Um…”

“Ven,” Terra says, nodding his head to the side to indicate that Ven should leave and give them some space. Ven obeys.

When they’re alone, Terra plants a smile on his face. An olive branch. “Stormfall, huh?” He tests its weight, then offers the hilt. “Suits it nicely.”

Aqua doesn’t take it. “Does it feel any different to you?”

Terra raises his eyebrows, surprised by the question. “You don’t sense it?”

Hmm, Second one says. Do you notice Earthshaker is not near?

Aqua swallows. “Barely," she lies.

“I think you’ll feel better when you hold it—”

Aqua winces.

Third: When will he ever learn?

“Why?” she asks.

“Why what?”

“Why do you want me better?”

Terra gapes, and Stormfall snaps her bite in his hand, making him flinch. He composes himself. “I… I don’t want you to suffer.”

Not quite. Stormfall says he wishes for things to go back to the way they were. “You want me happy.”

His eyes soften in a way that melts her. She’s known for years. It’s love.

First: Is it really? Are you sure?

“Of course I do,” Terra says.

“So happy that you’d want me changed?”

Terra inhales, then holds it in. “That’s not what I meant.”

“You want to know when Stormfall changed?” Aqua steps forward, when she shouldn’t. He smells like sandalwood. In the Realm of Darkness, there was no smell. Aqua steps again, when she shouldn’t. Terra, hold me. Is Stormfall telling him this? Of course, she can’t lie to her Keyblade. He’s closing the gap, stopping just short. “It transformed when I realized I had to fight you.”

Terra lowers his gaze to his shoes.

“Don’t apologize,” Aqua says, recalling how discouraged she was when Rainfell transformed. How she questioned everything—her education, her path to Mastery—as a lie. How Stormfall told her to keep her head up. That there is an answer to find. How naive. She once chastised Terra for being so close to the Darkness. Look where she is now. “I would have—”

First: Don’t. You know what that will do to him. And what he will do to you.

Terra’s brows furrow. “You okay?”

Aqua grits her teeth. “Yes.”

He smiles when he means to cry, and Aqua has the mind to kiss his eyelids and wipe the tears away. “Okay,” he says. “What were you saying before? You would have done what?”

Made the same choice all over again. For you.

Her chest hurts.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” she says instead, desperate to keep her defenses up and ease the pain back into numbness.

“I didn’t say you did.” He offers Stormfall again.

Second: He does that. Nudges when he wants something and you’re busy.

Third: Pokes when he wants something and you’re annoyed.

Fourth: Questions you even when you’re right. It’s amusing.

First: My dear, you adore it when he does that. Careful—it’s going to hurt later when you want more and he can’t give it to you.

Terra smiles wider. It’s love.

First: It’s—

Love. Shut up. Stormfall knows, though its link is weak. Terra is trying to hide it: Terra needs her, in the faintest whisper possible.

“I can’t take Stormfall,” Aqua says.

“You can.”

Second, pointing: Look at him nudging.

“If Stormfall exists,” Terra says, “then by definition, you still have Light within you.” He finally exhales. “But that’s always been the case, right? A shadow can’t exist without Light, so, by definition, you are Light.”

Second: How preposterous.

“Terra,” Aqua stresses, wanting to hit something. "Look at me.”

“I am.”

Stormfall gasps. It calls to Aqua. He’s about to say—

“Don’t say it,” Aqua says.

“Aqua—”

“Don’t—”

“You’re beautiful.”

First: Oh, honey.

Second: Ouch.

First, crossing her arms: He doesn’t have the privilege to say that.

Third: Why does that hurt so much?

Fourth: You are.

Beautiful… Even with these claws?

Stormfall betrays all of what Aqua wants to hide—it hurts, hurts, hurts, but Aqua wants it, and Terra feels it, so Terra wraps his fingers around the inner flesh of her wrists, over her scales. Touch me, so he does, gliding his hand up her forearm, brushing fumes from her skin, under her torn sleeves where he exposes smokey skin. Touch me more, and he pulls her in, embracing her. Terra plants his lips on her forehead, barely warm but there, and Aqua wants, and Aqua needs, and Aqua hurts. Aqua smells his sweat and sandalwood, and Aqua leans her face at his jaw, and his lips come to her eyebrow, and he kisses her there, and she kisses him too, close to the ear, and he digs his nose into her neck, and he opens his lips there, and Aqua wants, and Aqua needs, and Aqua hurts.

First: This is how you disappear.

Second: Gut him.

Third: Please, I can’t. All he does is make you want to cry.

Bury her, First says. You think you may want this, but when he leaves…

You are not Light, Second says. Not anymore. He’ll see that eventually.

No one is going to want your heart when they see what it’s really like now, Third says.

I love him, Fourth says. Can I keep him?

“I wish they would shut up,” Aqua whispers to his ear.

First says, We’re only looking out for you.

“Who?” He pulls back and holds her by her bare shoulders.

She shouldn’t have said that out loud. That sudden empty space between—a stab now. That small warmth, all gone. “No one.”

“Aqua?” He’s worried.

Just hug me again. “I’m fine.”

“Here. Take Stormfall.”

She scoffs, wanting to push him. He always says things at the worst time, ruining everything. They were right. He can't accept her the way she is.

“So I can feel better?” She does push him. She wants to scratch, but stops herself. “You want to know why I’m like this?”

Terra looks like he’s been slapped on the face. With a low voice, he says, “I already know.”

“Is what I’ve done for you not enough?”

Terra squeezes his eyes, like she’s a monster in his closet he’s wishing away, saying, You’re just a nightmare. You’re only a dream. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

“What more can I give you? What more do you want?”

And, as if he can read her mind (Stormfall, that bitch), he says, “I want you to stay. Don’t go.”

Aqua can crumble.

First: Come home.

Second: Come home.

Third: You’re safe with us.

Fourth: Stay home.

First: Don’t leave us. He doesn’t know you anymore. We do.

Aqua balls her claws into fists. Because of the scales, they don’t sting. She shouldn't tear her heart out for him. She shouldn't. “Terra, all I’ve had for years were memories.”

Terra’s eyes water, but he blinks, and it’s gone. “Was I a good memory?”

First: My dear, you’re going to cry. You know I can’t allow that.

“Yes,” Aqua says quietly. Stormfall and his heart could fly with hope. But is it false hope? “But,” she says, hesitating. “I’m your worst mistake. Aren’t I?”

His eyes grow hard. Determined, ready to fight. This is the one and only thing he’s confident in. “You have never been a mistake, Aqua. Never. And while I’ve done stupid things that have hurt you, not one regret of mine was you.”

Second, pointing again: Look at him questioning you.

“You’re not alone anymore,” Terra says. He opens his arms, his chest in jeopardy for attack. “You have me now.”

And she wants him. And she needs him. But she hurts.

First: All those years alone...

He reminds her she's Dark, wanting him to grovel at her feet for forgiveness. He's Light, brave and radiant. He’s disarmed her and dealt the hardest blow, leaving her raw and bloody.

Fourth: My love, be gentler to yourself.

First: She's truthful. She owes that to herself.

Aqua doesn’t want to be read, needing to keep her heart buried and still. But he reads her page after page, like he’s dug into the dirt and pulled her out screaming. For once, Aqua looks away. He’s going to be the last one standing this time.

“Aqua, don’t leave.”

“I can.”

“Don’t turn your back on Stormfall.”

“I will.”

“How do you expect me to let you walk away?”

“You let go.”

“I won’t.” He follows her, and takes her elbow.

She shoves him off. “What do you want me to do?”

Again, that fighting glare. “Let whatever I hurt you with go.”

“No, I won’t.” Aqua raises her voice.

“It’s not good for you!”

“I have a piece of you with me.” She cups her fist to her chest. “Finally, after all these years. And here you are…” She blinks, unsure of what weapon he has in his pocket to throw next. “After everything, I finally have you back… and you can barely look at what I’ve become.”

“I didn’t—”

“I can’t walk away and have nothing to remember you by. I will never let it go.”

“Then share it,” he says too fast.

First: Poor thing. He doesn’t understand what he’s asking for.

They lock eyes, blue to gold, and Aqua can barely fight him off. He has a habit of knowing exact secrets when she doesn’t want him to know, saying the right things at the wrong time. He might as well pierce her heart with a needle. Share it. That’s all she wanted, to share this with someone else.

But she can’t do that to Terra. But she can. But she shouldn’t. But she needs to.

She needs to? She needs him to stay far away from her, for his own safety.

“You want your answer? To Stormfall?” Aqua says.

Terra starts to say something, but she cuts him off. Aqua takes Stormfall, and it feels… too intimate, like being stuck in a tight closet with a distant ex-friend. But it knows something is wrong. Confusion, and this electric discomfort. Stormfall does not want anything to do with whatever Aqua is right now. This isn’t it. This isn’t right.

Aqua can’t fix it.

“This is your answer.” Because Stormfall does not accept her either, Aqua drops it. It clatters when it hits the floor. She hears Terra pick it up again, slowly, as if with care and reverence, as she walks away.

His touch wants her to come back home.

But where is home?

First: With us.

Where it’s cold.

Fourth: With them.

Where it’s warm.

All she wants is a nightmare she’s familiar with, not one that scares her.

#terraqua #terraquaweek #terraqua week #kh terra #kh aqua #kh ventus #anti aqua #my fic

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a-crack-in-the-universe · 3 months ago

Text

Terraqua Week Day 4 - Free Day

@terraquaweek

It had all happened so quickly. She and Terra had been in the middle of a particularly intense battle with a giant Heartless in Prankster's Paradise, one they hadn’t encountered before. It’d looked like they were winning, when the Heartless had made an unexpected attack that Aqua hadn’t seen in time, having been too caught up in fending off the Heartless’s previous attack. But Terra had noticed, a mere second before her. He’d tried to block it but had failed and been knocked out by the Heartless’ attack.

Once that had happened, Aqua had known that she wouldn’t be able to defeat the Heartless by herself, so she briefly cast Barrier and called for backup using the gummiphone. Sora and Kairi had come within the next ten minutes, as they’d already been close by doing a mission on a neighbouring world. Riku had arrived from Mysterious Tower in the aftermath of the battle, to check that everyone was all right and the Heartless gone.

Of course, Terra hadn’t been all right. No one had been able to wake him, and while Curaga appeared to heal his physical wounds, it also did not wake him up. And so they’d taken him to Radiant Garden, to be examined by Ansem the Wise and his apprentices. Now, they were waiting outside Ansem the Wise’s castle in Radiant Garden, for someone to come out and give them an update on Terra’s condition.

Aqua couldn’t stop pacing. It had been hours since they had brought Terra to Radiant Garden via the Gummi Ship, and Ansem the Wise and his apprentices had taken him into their surgery room to examine and hopefully operate on him.

‘Why couldn’t he just let me take it? I could’ve shielded myself, I could have…’

‘You know how Terra is,’ Ventus said quietly. Ven had arrived quickly, as soon as he’d gotten Aqua’s message about what had happened. ‘He’d die before he let either of us get hurt like that.’

She felt treacherous tears sting her eyes but didn’t try to wipe them away. She didn’t want to bring any attention to them, and besides, maybe she ignored them they would just disappear. One could hope.

‘I know, Ven,’ she whispered. ‘I just… I hate this so much. Terra looks so badly hurt… I don’t know what we’d do without him if he dies.’

I don’t know what I’d do without him. Terra had been a constant in her life since she’d first started training to be a keyblade wielder, at age of ten. She hadn’t gotten along with him at first, finding him annoying and off-putting, but gradually, as the years passed, she began to see the traits of his that no one else save maybe Master Eraqus saw—his warmth, his kindness, his protective nature, his stubbornness and care. And so gradually, over the years they’d gone from strangers to friends to best friends and rivals. And Aqua had realised that she cared for him much more than she could ever say and couldn’t bear to lose him. Her, Terra and Ven being separated for over ten years due to Xehanort had only strengthened her feelings.

‘He’s not going to die,’ Ven said confidently. ‘Don’t think like that, Aqua. Remember what Master Yen Sid said? It’s important for us to believe. Terra’ll find his way back to us, you’ll see.’

Yes… she remembered. Master Yen Sid had said the same thing when she awakened in the Mysterious Tower with a comatose Ven, so many years ago. It had been easy to believe then, but now she’d experienced too much darkness to ever think that way again.

------------

Some time later, Aqua didn’t know when, Ansem the Wise finally appeared outside the castle gates, looking tired with dark shadows under his eyes.

Aqua and Ven, Riku, Sora and Kairi immediately turned toward him. He smiled at them in greeting.

‘I am sorry to have kept you waiting for so long,’ he said. ‘Our examination took us longer than we had expected.’

‘Please…’ Aqua forced her voice to stay calm. ‘Will Terra be all right?’

Ansem looked at her gravely. ‘He will live,’ he said. ‘But his condition is uncertain…’

Her heart hammered in her chest at the words. ‘What do you mean?’

‘It seems that the attack Terra bore the brunt of, infected him with a dark virus,’ Ansem said gently to her. ‘Because of this he is comatose—his mind subconsciously did this in an attempt to protect his heart. He will live, but we don’t know when he will wake up or what his condition will be like when he does.’

‘Oh…’

‘When can we take him home?’ Ven asked him.

‘We want to keep Terra here with us for further observation for another seven days. Then he can go home, provided his condition hasn’t gotten any worse,’ Ansem the Wise said.

‘Great!’ Ven said, trying to maintain an air of positivity. ‘Right, Aqua?’

‘Yes… good.’ She forced her frozen lips to move. ‘Thank you, Master Ansem. You’ve done so much to help us.’

Ansem smiled sadly. ‘It is nothing, Master Aqua. I am happy to help, and so are my apprentices. I, too, have some affection for Terra, and it grieves me that he has been hurt like this. But please be assured that he will recover and wake up. He just needs time.’

‘Thank you,’ Aqua repeated, with tears stinging her eyes, and heard Ven echo her. ‘We’ll stay in Radiant Garden until Terra is ready to leave.’

------------

Seven days later, Aqua and Ventus took Terra home to the Land of Departure.

‘Call us if he gets worse or if he wakes up,’ Ienzo instructed them when they were about to board the gummi ship. Aqua got the impression that he, like Ansem the Wise, was also worried about Terra and cared about his wellbeing.

‘Of course, Ienzo,’ Aqua said. ‘Thank you for everything you’ve all done.’

‘It was nothing,’ the man said shyly.

And so they went home. They managed somehow miraculously to carry Terra to his bedroom in the castle, despite him being so heavy, and settled him in his bed. It would’ve made it much easier if they’d had someone else to help them, but Aqua had felt too distraught to really accept any help offered by Ansem and his apprentices.

The next days passed in a painful blur. Aqua busied herself with paperwork, while Ven went on missions to various worlds, usually paired with Roxas or Xion. After all, there were still worlds to protect and the Land of Departure to maintain, and Terra being injured didn’t change that. They went at it with a surprising intensity—neither of them wanted to think too much about Terra’s absence.

But even with their days being occupied with their respective duties, they still made some time to sit at Terra’s bedside and talk to him about everything that’d been going on. They always had dinner in his bedroom, because Ven insisted that it would help Terra wake up sooner.

If she was being honest with herself, Aqua thought, she’d insisted that she needed to stay in the Land of Departure to work on paperwork because she didn’t want to leave Terra while he was like this. Throughout each day she sat often with Terra, holding his hand and talking to him, sharing the thoughts in her heart like they’d used to do back when they were kids. When had they stopped doing that? She didn’t know. From time to time, she had a sudden urge to kiss him, but she restrained herself. It didn’t feel right to do it when Terra wasn’t awake to say anything about it.

‘I know you can’t hear me, but… I miss you. I wish you would wake up soon.’

She refrained from speaking the other, more personal words that were at the front of her mouth. I love you. I need you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Her heart clenched at the thought of Terra never waking up. She’d already had to experience that with Ventus, though the younger boy had woken up eventually when Sora had used the Power of Waking to help guide Ven’s heart back into his body. She didn’t want to have to go through that again with Terra.

‘I swear, if you never wake up, or if it takes you ten years, I’ll never forgive you!’

---------------

Five days after they’d brought him home, Terra finally woke up. Ven was with him at the time—Aqua was preparing their dinner in the kitchen. When Ven had called out to her in such an urgent tone—“Aqua, Terra’s awake!” Aqua immediately dropped what she’d been doing and ran to Terra’s bedroom.

As she burst through the door, she found the sight of Terra sitting up staring at her with tired eyes, but very much awake. She felt as if her heart would burst with relief and joy.

‘Terra! You’re awake!’

Terra snorted slightly, but smiled at her. ‘Yeah… I guess I am.’ Then he rubbed the back of his head and a confused expression crossed his face. ‘What happened? The last thing I remember is fighting that giant Heartless and trying to block that attack you didn’t see.’

‘Well…’ Aqua and Ven glanced at each other. Aqua continued, ‘You were knocked unconscious and we—Sora, Riku, Kairi and I—couldn’t wake you up. We took you to Ansem’s laboratory and he said that you were infected with some kind of dark virus and that your mind put you into a coma to protect your heart. Do you feel all right now?’

Terra looked surprised but answered her readily. ‘Yeah, I think so.’

‘Great!’ Ven said. ‘I’ll call Ansem the Wise to tell him.’

Terra and Aqua were left alone as Ven ran out of the room. Aqua smiled fondly after Ven, then turned to Terra. ‘We’re about to have dinner,’ she told him. ‘You can join us—you must be hungry after being asleep for so long.’

Terra laughed. ‘I’m not sure I’ll be up to eating dinner. I feel ready to fall asleep again. I’m not sure I can even get out of bed.’

‘That’s okay,’ Aqua said. She gripped his hand and squeezed it gently. ‘You need a lot of rest to recover.’

Later, after dinner, she lay curled next to Terra on his bed, her hand in his, and she said the words that she couldn’t bear to say while he’d been unconscious.

He looked at her, surprised. ‘You really mean that?’

She looked into his tired, hopeful eyes and nodded. ‘Yes. I don’t know what I’d do without you. When the Heartless hurt you and you wouldn’t wake up, it scared me a lot.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said quietly. ‘When I took that blow for you, all I could think of was that I didn’t want you to get hurt. I thought if anyone had to get hurt, it should be me.’

‘Why should it be you?’ she challenged him. ‘We’re partners, Terra, remember? We look out for each other. You can’t protect me from everything. There’ll always be a point where I’ll get hurt.’

Terra looked away. ‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated. ‘It was just—instinct.’

Aqua sighed. She really couldn’t blame him for doing what his heart told him to do. It was just that she’d been so scared for him. She didn’t want to feel like that ever again.

‘I know, Terra,’ she whispered. ‘I understand. I just was so scared. Don’t do that to me again. After everything we’ve all been through, I can’t handle another scare like that. I don’t want to lose you.’

‘You won’t lose me,’ he said to her gently. ‘I promise. I’ll be more careful from now on.’

She saw the honesty in his eyes and smiled. ‘Good,’ she said, and kissed his cheek. ‘Now go to sleep. You need it.’

She hopped off the bed and started toward the doorway. When she was almost at the door, Terra called out to her.

‘Aqua?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I love you too,’ he said drowsily.

Then he closed his eyes and slid into sleep. Aqua smiled fondly at him, then exited the bedroom.

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